Reply to Do you call your in-laws Mom & Dad?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It seems like you’re saying both that it’s weird to call your in-laws mom and dad but also that you’re expecting to be called mom and dad.[/quote]

OP here. It was definitely weird for me back in 1991 when my DH & I were married, because I was young and nervous, and I didn't know how to broach the subject. My in-laws never expressly requested that I call them Mom & Dad, nor were they upfront about anything, so it was confusing. I think communication is the most important thing. I was clear to my son-in-law that, while I'd like to be called Mom, he should do whatever is most comfortable for him.

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How is it “confusing” that you were never asked by people who are not your mom or your dad to call them “Mom and Dad”? First names are fine. And 1981 is now more than 40 years ago, so be assured that norms have even further changed, and likely no one who marries into your family will naturally want to call you “Mom,” because you’re not their mom. [/quote]

OP here. It was confusing because it was the norm back then, and also it was 1991 (not 1981) - still, I get your point about norms changing since then. I know my daughter is going to call her new in-laws Mom & Dad, because we've talked about it, and I think it's natural for her to do so because she's seen my DH and me both calling our own in-laws Mom & Dad. I imagine my son-in-law will follow my daughter's lead.[/quote]

This has never been the norm amongst middle/upper middle class white people. It is even less common now because people tend to meet their future spouse at older ages. So, they call other adults by their first name. I would NOT assume your future son in law will call you mom. And if he doesn’t, this should not be a big deal at all.[/quote]

I got married around then and it was not the norm.  My parents did not call their in laws Mom and Dad and they were born in the 30s![/quote]

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