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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Im so sorry that some on this thread have resorted to name calling. However the facts are:

My original post should have said “should have been in detention studying” instead of “should have been studying”. I apologize for that omission. Detention at the school involves going to study hall for the evening to study while others have free time. This evening happened to be a school dance. I hope this is clearer.
DD was assigned detention for tardiness
Detention was held on campus during the school dance (it’s a boarding school if that helps)
She went to the dance and lied to the proctor and two other adults about her whereabouts

I already admitted that it was wrong and am not trying to downplay the issue. She violated school rules, acknowledges it was terrible and apologized for it. While I don’t condone lying, admit she screwed up majorly, and applied punishment of our own after she returned home, I still offer some grace and I didn’t think it warranted a withdrawal in lieu of dismissal but it was the school’s prerogative to do as they wished.

I really came to this forum looking for some guidance and amidst all this, have managed to get some very useful advice which we will take to heart and thank you all for your comments. I wont hang on to technicalities and will make sure her narrative is honest, more complete and clear as this issue is not necessarily disqualifying.

Her transcript has nothing Salacious to report.

Was this bad, yes, it was a lapse in judgement which she has learned from and continues to work through but does a lapse in judgement albeit a lie she told to multiple adults make her evil, I don’t think so. She has shown remorse and will certainly not lie again. She now understands that when you join a community you promise to abide by their rules and if you don’t, you suffer the consequences which she clearly has, and has learned from her mistakes.

I’m sorry she lied despite knowing better, but I have chosen to extend some grace to her and will stand by her as she learns to navigate this and other challenges in life.
[/quote]

Here is what any college will ask next.  And I want to know too.

What tangible actions has she taken to demonstrate remorse?  How, specifically,  has she made amends?  How has she demonstrated that she learned her lesson? What steps has she taken that make you believe she understands the importance of honor codes?

I see you extending grace, explaining, apologizing, and, frankly, lying. Absent from this is what *your child* did make restriction and show that she understands the gravity of her error.  Because what you call grace sounds like you sympathizing with her about the punishment being too hard and moving heaven and earth to avoid this impacting college.  What about her character?  What has SHE (not you) done to improve that?[/quote]
Not OP, but just want to chime in to say screw you, OP does not owe you or other posters an explanation. OP’s kid screwed up and has paid the price for that. Kids make dumb mistakes; they are kids. It is not a capital crime. OP, I’m glad you got some good advice. Good luck to your daughter.[/quote]

DP.  No one here can give OP reliable advice if OP is not honest about the facts of the matter.[/quote]
First, I do believe OP. Second, the pl to whom I was responding demanded to know, for herself, not for the purpose of helping OP:

What tangible actions has she taken to demonstrate remorse? How, specifically, has she made amends? How has she demonstrated that she learned her lesson? What steps has she taken that make you believe she understands the importance of honor codes?

Which I find completely over the top for the offense.[/quote]

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