Reply to Married and infatuated with coworker

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Married and infatuated with coworker"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’m someone who acted on the feelings.  Don’t do it OP, it’s not real.  Like someone said earlier it’s not him, it’s how he makes you feel.  In my case the coworker would notice when I got a haircut, or wore a new outfit.  He paid attention to what I liked and didn’t like and would make me dinner consisting of something he’d noticed I’d enjoyed at some point. (We were away for several weeks on work travel).

[b]There’s nothing at all like the feeling of actually being seen by a living, breathing, attractive member of the opposite sex when you feel completely invisible in your long term marriage to your nice guy[/b].  Who you feel hasn’t actually seen you in years and would never, ever notice if you got a haircut.

In my case I fell for it, had what I thought was a good time for a few weeks, broke it off when the trip ended, came home from travel and felt horrible and came clean to my husband.  He pretty much immediately (okay within a few months) decided he could never get over the betrayal and we divorced just over a year later.  The rest is history.

My world blew up quicker than I ever thought was possible.  My XH, who I thought would try to at least work on things, basically took off and was done.  No second chances for me.

In retrospect I wasn’t actually even attracted to the guy.  My XH was better looking and a better catch.  But being around someone who listened to you and noticed you when you hadn’t experienced that for a long time was like a buffet for someone who is starving.  I’m a total jerk for my behavior, I should have thought about what was missing from my own relationship and worked on that.  Life lesson I would highly not recommend anyone else having to learn.[/quote]

This, this.

It's equally true for men. I was basically the loser husband who was invisible to my wife and felt alive again when a co-worker showed interest.

But I am surprised you confessed. This is "take it to the grave" stuff. We had a wonderful time and it was a great break from the doldrums of being invisible and neglected in marriage.

I wish you well.[/quote]

I feel for your wife....you better hope she never finds out.[/quote]
I wish I had any passion towards my husband to even care if he cheated on me…really,  after 20+ years of marriage, is it surprising that people lose interest?[/quote]

Not surprising but sad, in my mind. There are plenty of marriages of 20 years that are strong because both partners have consistently invested in the relationship . [/quote]
Invest how exactly? Romantically, I am indifferent toward my dh. I care for him as my best friend and I respect him and maybe that’s good enough. But I never had romantic feelings towards him, I want to feel that with someone during my lifetime. I want a reciprocal head over heels love affair, I want to feel weak in the knees, even if only for a short time.  I have never felt that towards my dh and I never will.[/quote]

PP I think we are in the same boat. I have a coworker who is my object of lust - like you, all in my head. I married my “best friend”, care about him, and makes me happy but there has never been a real physical spark. Now 20 years later I’m also a legging wearing soccer mom longing for some passion. Then I take a look at my never going away c-section shelf and saggy post-kid chest and it stops my fantasies. I feel like the ship sailed and I’m stuck in mediocrity.[/quote]

I had a brief fling with a woman like you about 5 years ago. She was from a city an hour away but her best friend was dating my best friend so she'd come through town from time to time. We are both married. We had a couple make out sessions. Then once got carried away and did the deed. I have no idea what her body imperfections are, it was so hot being with someone new and who was equally turned on. I think we went at it for 2 hours and it was a total blur.

I wish everyone could have one last escape like this. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics