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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I feel like this topic has been covered but alas I can’t find it in the archives. We are telling our 8 and 11 year olds about the divorce in just a few days. I am extremely nervous. Yes, we are working with a therapist to do all the things to minimize damage. We are not high conflict right now though I’m fairly emotional. Daughters likely see this coming. We don’t openly fight but there’s clearly tension. Not really looking for insights about should we\shouldn’t we but more of how did your kids do 3,6,9, 12 months along the way?

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Increced risk of your children getting divorced, should be your concern.[/quote]

I've learned though that staying in a bad marriage has the same effect. I've noticed generational trauma passed down but previously with intact families. I don't think it's better. Both of my grandparents were abusers of each other and otherw but stayed married and hated each other so what does it really matter whether they stayed married or not? Everyone knew they hated each other and no one liked them in the family. And in some ways they passed down the trauma quicker because their kids weren't as apt to think the behavior was bad because the parents stayed together. [/quote]

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