Reply to ‘Help’ that is not wanted is not help

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It’s not about helping you, it’s about them- she wants to showcase her cooking, she wants the event to be about her etc. it’s not about helping or making life easier for you. [/quote]

Yep, this is what it is. They want everyone to comment about what a good cook they are.

I have a similar situation with a relative who is into crafts and every gift from them is some handmade item. Which is certainly nice of them and it’s the thought that counts, of course, but every item this person sends is made with colors that I have never used in my home. I’m convinced it’s just about this person wanting to comment on how talented they are with their crafts.  This person has been to my home many times and has seen the colors I have everywhere but persists in giving me handmade items that clash with the colors of  things I already have (and clearly love, because I use those colors throughout my home).

I used to put the things out anyway, but during Covid I decided I had the right to have my house look the way I want it to. I bundled up all the items and donated them so that someone who actually likes and enjoy those colors can get some pleasure from them. I feel so much better not having to look at these items that look so out of place in my home.

Just keep saying no, thank you to your mom OP, or ask her to make dessert. You have a good plan for your event and you have every right to stick with it. 
[/quote]

These are the worst posters. The closet narcissists. Of course that's how you interpret their gifts and offers -- because you view them through your own narcissistic and frankly insane lens.

I hope you get nothing but store-bought crap and Hallmark cards from now on. Both the immediate PP and the one above. I also hope your jealousy doesn't poison others.[/quote]

Do you really think it is a kindness to give someone multiple items of home decor that are very, very different from anything else that person displays as decor in their home? When I give gifts, I try to think about what the other person likes and might want, not about how I can display my talents with leftover materials from things I make for myself that match my own home decor. Sorry, it’s not really a gift if it’s more about the giver than the receiver. 
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I have no idea. But people interpret others in ways they understand because that's how they are themselves.[/quote]

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