Reply to When did you know that you and your child would not have a good relationship when they became adult?

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Reply to "When did you know that you and your child would not have a good relationship when they became adult?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You sound like my parents who wrote me off in college because I "changed" and wasn't the perfect kid any longer. To be clear, I was still a young adult any parent should be proud of (good grades in a hard major, active throughout the campus, lots of friends) but I struggled for the first time in my life in college. It wasn't easy for me all of the time. I also wanted to try things that didn't agree with - living abroad for a bit, staying in my college city over the summer, etc.

We no longer have a very close relationship because of them and their behavior.[/quote]

You’re projecting. I don’t think your situation necessarily sounds like what OP is dealing with.[/quote]

DP. That is what OP sounds like to me too.

My parents have 5 children, and we each have very different personalities.  Our mother is a rule follower. None of us are anything close to this.

We have no- nonsense dominant, ' don't give an eff what people think' personalities to different degrees,( mine is so bad that they labeled me " the craziest one").

We argue a lot because my mother wants everyone to see us the way she would like to be seen. It's never happening.

But she loves us to the bottom of her heart, and we know it. When one of us doubted it( my least crazy sibling ironically), my parents went out of their way to reassure her, sending love with words, action and money, even though they don't have much. Their intentions were very clear, and my sibling saw it and appreciated it.

You love your kids. That's what you do. It doesn't matter what their personalities are. If they are hurt, needy, jealous, it's because they need something. It's not your place to give them everything, but it's your place to make them feel like you would give them everything if you could( nobody can, but that's not the point). Make her feel that love. You are not competing with her. She is your baby and will always be.

My mother is very annoying and could not be a friend of mine because she will drive me crazy with all the " but you were supposed to do this" or "what will people say?". But we are not friends. She is the woman who loves me more than anyone else could. I call her every single day and I put up with her BS because I love her deeply. But she loved me first, and it's pretty obvious.[/quote]

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