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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Just keep pushing occasionally for your own sanity.  I pushed my mom for years and she just kept refusing to talk about it, calling me bossy, saying she had time, etc.  She collapsed and is in hospice, assisted living care at an out-of-pocket of over $10K a month.  She was a teacher and is likely to burn her life savings.  I sleep at night by knowing I did all I could do to avoid this situation.[/quote]

Honestly if she is in hospice and has enough savings to pay for it, who cares if she spends it all? That means she had enough. You can’t take it with you. That’s what life savings are for. [/quote]

PP here.  I care because she talked on and on about how much she wanted to leave money behind to help my kids with college and now cries (quite literally) about how she messed up.  I reassure her that it's fine and don't ever bring up money on my end, but it is important to recognize that sometimes people don't want to spend every penny just on care and end up waiting too long. [/quote]

Np. I think what you’re stating is obvious. Who would want to spend down their assets and then get Medicaid? Of course the preference for pretty much everyone would be to get free nursing care (paid for by tax-payers) so you can will your money to your kids. But how crappy, and unethical is that? Your mom is fine that’s she’s spending retirement money in elder care. That’s what it’s for. She didn’t plan badly if she has funds. But no way in heck is any person entitled to tax-payer funded elder care while saving and willing off their retirement funds.[/quote]

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