Reply to If my teenager gets a job during his time with Dad . . .

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Reply to "If my teenager gets a job during his time with Dad . . . "

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You give him another day [/quote]

It's not that simple.  He's got commitments on other days, things his Dad agreed to, and sports Dad insisted he sign up for.

At this point, I give him time one evening a week that isn't in the custody agreement, and he's invited to any athletic competition on Saturday.  But I can't magically make another day appear for DS to hang out at his house. [/quote]

OP do you feel you need to make this decision for your ex? He complains he has limited visitation time but OK's DS getting a job on his visitation days. Obviously flawed logic. If you have an email where he has given this the green light what's the problem? When he makes noises about the issue, refer him to the email.

Or am I missing something?[/quote]

I worry how this looks in court, and we just have a temporary order so we'll definitely be back in court.

I also find it frustrating, that he asked for more time, I rearranged our schedules to give him more time, and then he gave away the time he had.  [/quote]

You told him kid was getting a job.  If you cared about dads time you would have never agreed to it.  He had no choice but to agree.  What do you want him to do?   If he says no, he’s bad for not supporting son.  If he says yes, you complain about him not visiting. [/quote]

Saying no is a parent's job.  It's a normal thing to do if you are actually parenting!  It's the dad's time so it's the dad's decision, and it's the dad's burden to say no to whatever is unacceptable on his time.  Not the mom's problem to deal with the fallout.[/quote]

Mom needs to tell the child no.  She has primary custody and he has one visit a week.  If Dad says no to the job, he's not supportive, etc.  If he says yes, he's a deadbeat who doesn't want to see his son.  He cannot win.[/quote]

But the dad already said yes!  So she should know that it's a fake yes, and play her part in this fiction by saying no so that the dad can be Fun Uncle and never have to actually parent his child?[/quote]

Can we not with the misandry?[/quote]

It’s not misandry, it’s calling out a dude for bad behavior.[/quote]

Either way dad loses and is called out for hi behavior.  The visit should not be interfered with.  [/quote]

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