Reply to When do people stop inviting the whole class to birthday parties and how does that go?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]A lot of people in K just invite all the boys or all the girls. There are no hurt feelings in that case.[/quote]

I dislike this because it just reinforces the idea of same-sex friendships which I think is negative in the longterm. I'd rather my kid be left out of some parties as the invitation lists shrink then have a culture where kids are told that friendships are always supposed to be same-sex. It just doesn't reflect how friendships/relationships work in adulthood and contributes to misogyny by teaching boys, in particular, that they don't need to be friendly with girls or treat them as equals.

I have a girl and she gravitates to female friendships but she has made friends with a number of boys in early elementary and we nurture those friendships too and would totally invite those boys to her birthday. They might choose not to come or they might come and decide to leave early if they aren't into the same stuff DD is into (unicorns and mermaids) which is totally okay. But I wouldn't just exclude them because they are boys.[/quote]

Not really about excluding the opposite sex as much as it’s focusing on the kids your kid is most likely to have a real friendship with outside of school. My kid most often plays with the girls on class at recess and has play dates and such with the girls in class, but not the boys even if she likes them at school well enough. So they’re perfectly fine and we aren’t excluding them for being boys but if we don’t want to do the whole class, it makes more sense to just invite the girls . [/quote]

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