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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Thanks so much for the ideas. I guess I could manufacture a reason why wives couldn’t attend except I realllllllly like going out there.

I showed my husband the thread and he said I forgot to mention that Hank has said on many occasions that his wife’s solo trips to Italy were the reason they could stay married. Hank takes numerous boys trips throughout the year as well.

Husband also says Hank is drinking a lot more than he used to. Wonders if that might be the source of Flo’s rages- although she sure drinks a lot too. [/quote]

Cut Flo off, not Hank.

If your husband has been friends with Hank since childhood then hopefully they have a sold enough friendship to have a open and honest discussion. I think your husband should come from a place of compassion and what can he do to help, BUT also with honesty that your family simply isn't comfortable with the dynamic that Flo brings to the trips.

And I think you need to find your voice and stand up, where appropriate, to Flo. She's mad that breakfast is being made at 9am? She gets pulled outside to be told to lower her voice and everyone else is hungry. Huge, elaborate meals you have to clean up?  Nope. Either make a meal schedule or be direct that you don't want to spend your down time in the kitchen. That is, if you still continue to see her. Frankly, my goal would be to make her miserable enough that she stays at home but Hank and the kids still come.

TL : DR - I'd figure out how to support and still see Hank and his kids without Flo.

I don't agree that you should make a big announcement or tell Hank he and his family can't come NEXT summer[/quote]

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