Reply to Can I wear a black dress to a wedding?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]People on DCUM overestimate how much people pay attention to wedding guest attire, as long as it isn't wildly inappropriate (i.e. sweats or jeans).  That black dress is totally neutral and forgettable.  Accessorized, it is perfectly fine for an evening wedding.  [/quote]

This, I say this all the time.  Other than women in their 20s, and immediate family, no one I know goes out and buys new dresses for weddings. You reach in the closet and sometimes you have cute new stuff, and sometimes you don't. And no one at the wedding gives a crap.

I said as much on another thread about wedding attire, and people got mad at me like I was an affront to brides everywhere if I didn't put a lot of effort into my dress.  As it happens, I actually love dressing up and have a wonderful wardrobe and love to get dressed up for weddings - and I typically think of myself as one of the better dressed people at the wedding.  But I always make a mental note of how most of the room just looks "fine" - and that THAT is totally is fine.  I think it is way better to show up in a plain back old navy dress than to wear the beautiful but totally wedding inappropriate green floor length oscars-worthy gown on the other thread.  Of course, wear something beautiful and appropriate if you love clothes and shopping or have something perfect in your closet. But otherwise, don't sweat wearing a black or a daytime casual dress.  No one cares.  [/quote]

I think I saw your post on the other thread and thank you! I agree and reading these threads on DCUM makes me feel much more anxious about going to a wedding than anyone needs to be. People get all caught up in the details and act like we are living in some kind of rigid society with very strict rules of etiquette that everyone follows. This might be true in certain small pockets (in which case you know what the rules are because are part of that sub-group that cares deeply about them) and it might have been true 80 or more years ago, but in most parts of the US now, you can go to a wedding and see a range of interpretations of the dress code and most are considered acceptable. And in certain parts of the US, even wearing jeans or shorts would not be considered out of bounds at a wedding (I've been to weddings in California, Montana, and Colorado that featured one or both of these and other than a few older relatives, no one really cared that much).[/quote]

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