Reply to In your opinion, do most parents love their children more than themselves?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Most people don’t love themselves all that much. That’s too bad.

Most people love their kids unconditionally, even when they being jerks.

Most people love their spouses conditionally and don’t take into consideration that their marriage will continue long after the kids leave the house.

And Yes, most female identifying parents put their own needs and desires second to the needs and desires of their children. Male identifying parents do it to, but with less frequency or amount of sacrifice. Is this done out of love? Sometimes. But sometimes it’s guilt, adhering to societal expectations, or convenience / expediency.

Do I love my children more than myself? No. I don’t think I do. Do I give up time I’d rather be napping or working on hobbies to do things they enjoy? Yes. Because it benefits me to raise happy, well adjusted future adults. Do I sometimes give my 5 yr old the last donut even though I wanted it? Yes, but not because I love him more than myself, but because I value the peace of not arguing more than than enjoyment of the pastry. [/quote]

Agree.

I also think that as children grow into adults  then the lack of love for oneself starts to manifest as narcissism. [/quote]

DP. Why? [/quote]

If we don’t live ourselves then how do we really know how to love? In the early days of parenting loving a child is relatively easy as they are an extension of us. And they are so wonderful and loveable it makes us feel wonderful and loveable. And basically a fusing kinda happens where a parents value as a person I s attached to the child’s. But then it becomes a tug of war of needs rather than an exchange of love.

And that causes the narcissistic adaptions, which are really just maladaptive coping mechanisms. [/quote]

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