Reply to Do you ever feel jealous of people whose parents are still alive?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I guess I'm much older. My friends who still have parents are dealing with the challenges of 80-90 year olds with failing health. That is also pretty tough.[/quote]

I envy people with healthy, sane older parents. I never had parents like that. When they passed it was a relief still with grief.[/quote]

WOW....this is exactly how I feel and have felt even when they were alive. I was envious of those friends who could rely on their sane parents. Then they both died and I felt this relief with yes guilt and grief.[/quote]

This.

OP, you may want to try volunteering at a memory care or being a 'friend' to a more challenging elderly person at an AL for volunteer work. Now sometimes the difficult ones were always difficult, but sometimes, they truly were delightful, maybe even like your own parent. When you envy your friends with living parents you are seeing a moment in time. Some of them may pay for that joy with a parent who ages poorly and even lashes out at them and accuses them of things down the line. One can hear those things, but until you have lived it day to day, you just cannot fathom how painful it is and it can rob you of any pleasant memories. You could go help an elderly person and perhaps get just a small teeny tiny taste of what you might have experienced had your parents lived a long life. You get to just stop volunteering or at least leave when/if you ever see that dark side that can grow as the brain erodes. I have spent too many years being the target of an aging mom and have spent a fortune in therapy trying to process it and be in her life in some capacity.[/quote]

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