Reply to parents invited sister to a fall weekend- boundaries crossed

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[quote=Anonymous]I don't get this at all.  You say you planned for this all year, but then you set the whole thing up to fail by allowing other people.

OP, people don't change--family dynamics don't change.  It's all predictable.

You should have never let your sister come last year. You opened the door right there.  Then you say your mom is narcissistic etc but you let them come.

You designed it all, and now you are going to punish them for *showing up and being themselves* by opting out of Thanksgiving.

Opt out or don't opt out in the future, but you need to OWN this situation was of your making.

So just get on with it.  Have vacations with those who are PROVEN to be good relatives to vacation with.

The therapist can help you with the language to set firm boundaries.  You can practice with the therapist.   You have to get to a place where while you may care that they are mad at you, you don't care enough and are willing to make that trade so you can have your boundaries in place.[/quote]

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