Reply to How to handle jealousy/loss of friends when kids makes a higher level team?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Why do they have to be happy in their minds? Sounds like the parents might have said the right things but you didn't like their body language and think that reveals some hidden animosity. Just take the congrats as offered and move on even if you think they don't really mean it. These people are always going to feel more sad for their own kids than happy for yours.[/quote]

They don’t have to be happy in their minds, and there was no congratulations. More like “oh”. Surprised, which makes me think that they think my kid is not worthy. My kids is not the best of the team, but like I said, they have a particular quality that is attractive to coaches. Some of kids were outwardly rude asking my kid why they were picked (and implying why not them). I was just surprised at the reactions, and it wasn’t everyone on the team, but I was always taught “if you can’t say anything nice don’t say anything at all”. My child’s feeling were hurt. I’m not asking them to be happy for my kid, and I get that jealously is a common reaction. I was more looking for ideas on how to explain it better to my child than “these people aren’t your real friends”. Maybe that’s the answer though as they clearly aren’t. [/quote]

Sounds like you and your kid are both a bit insecure about being chased. If the talent is so unique, why don't the other parents recognize it? You can be a great pitcher but have a terrible batting average but other people don't wonder why that kid made the team. Just ignore the whatever it is you think needs to be said out loud, and focus on the future. Tell your kid they are probably just said they didn't make the team and don't know what to say. These kids are 12-13 and this is all likely going to change real fast for all of them depending on how puberty shakes out.[/quote]

^ chosen not chased.[/quote]

Maybe, yes. It did create an awkward dynamic to be sure. [/quote]

This could very well be you and your kid on the other side of the equation next year. These kids are very young still and haven't matured physically or emotionally. Immature kids might have immature responses, so this shouldn't be terribly surprising. [/quote]

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