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[quote=Anonymous]I’m similar to many of the posters on here, although post-pandemic I don’t even think I have any local friends anymore. Distant acquaintances sure, but nothing more than that. I married young and I think that has a lot to do with it. What little local connections I had completely disappeared when I had kids and the pandemic hit.

I miss having the support of friends, but I have accepted that I nothing to offer them in return at this point in my life. I’m not even a fun person anymore. My young kids and job take for granted that I’m always there and always produce, and they suck everything out of me and then some. My DH is just a bottomless pit of need - does the bare minimum or less unless he’s trying to get some. (I can time his contributions to the household and demonstrated care for me by my fertility calendar- it’s that predicable.) I love my family of origin, but I’ve accepted long ago that the way they deal with someone experiencing trouble is to distance, or worse, to go out of their way to kick them when they’re down. Some inter generational trauma there for sure.

So that’s it. I try not to feel too bad for myself or become a mommy martyr, but the flip side of that is I have to be hard to protect what’s left of myself, and hard people aren’t outgoing and don’t make friends. Maybe someday things will improve but the more time goes by I’m worried I’m becoming hard coded this way.

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