Reply to How many times am I going to get burned by my parents

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[quote=Anonymous]We have this with my ILs but with a twist of it mostly being health related. It has always been like this, but since the pandemic it’s been worse. One child coughs on on FaceTime 3 days before their visit? Canceled. Some one has a slight sore throat? Better not risk it, will come later, but then later never occurs. The worst was the visit the canceled because my DD got lice multiple weeks before they were supposed to visit. We did the lice comb lady, bleached the house, washed everything, had a clean nice guest room DD never went into ready, and then they canceled because they felt nervous even though weeks had passed. The thing is they act like they will reschedule and it’s no big deal but the result is that they essentially never see our kids. When we visit them we stay elsewhere in case someone gets allergies or something and they can’t deal. It’s just really heartbreaking- the times the stars align and we do see them even for a day they do seem to genuinely care about the kids (same for FaceTime) so we make some effort but even my DH is getting tired of it all. We never tell the kids they are coming in advance and we never plan to visit only them (luckily DH has awesome siblings with children so we can have a great trip with out seeing ILs it’s just disappointing to feel like they can’t bring themselves to take the slightest risk to see their grandchildren.

My parents, my mom in particular, genuinely wants to help even though she’s way busier than my ILs - she makes it happen and makes sure she has time with our kids no matter what. I hope I can pay it forward and be a great Mom/MIL[/quote]

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