Reply to I was the weird, loner kid and now my kid is too. Talk me through this.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Also, OP. Your daughter didn't like how those girls made her feel and disengaged. That could be a really good thing. Good for her. [/quote]

NP and I agree. While it is possible that your daughter misread some of their comments, I think better to trust how she felt. I think it's a decent possibility that those specific kids weren't interested in letting her into their group. I've personally seen this kind of behavior with kids this age at scouts, recreational sports, and at the bus stop. I don't think it means that your daughter is a loner, though. She just needs more time to find kids she clicks with. My kids are about the same age and have had some trouble finding close friends. I think it's a matter of time and providing opportunities for them to meet people.

On that note, I disagree with the prior suggestions to focus on playdates. Playdates work well for many on DCUM but in my experience, they have not helped establish friendships. The playdates we hosted with classmates were awkward for the kids and exhausting for me because of the scheduling challenges, and we rarely got reciprocal invitations (I think either because people are too busy or because their kids had closer friends already). I talked to my kids' teachers to identify who they got along well with and also set up playdates through parents I met. The playdates were fine but they didn't do anything to foster tighter bonds so all in all, I think they were kind of a waste of time. It wasn't until my kids started figuring out who *they* wanted to play with that playdates were something they enjoyed. The difference was fairly dramatic, actually.

Activities like scouts and rec sports can be a good way to meet people and learn new things. But a lot of that is luck of the draw in terms of whether your child will connect with the other kids; there are some troops and teams that include cliques of kids that are hard to break into. I don't say that to dissuade you from pursuing but as a reminder to help you set expectations for yourself.
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