Reply to Relatives' lack of interest in my father who had cognitive issues. Is this normal?

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Reply to "Relatives' lack of interest in my father who had cognitive issues. Is this normal?"

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[quote=Anonymous]I have already posted, but I almost wonder if you are projecting your own guilt onto the relatives. When I was doing so much for our parents my sister started sending me unwanted gifts (junk) and I asked her to stop. She said something like "should I just give you cash for being there for mom and dad?" I declined and was grossed out by this response. Then years later I asked her to do one thing-help mom plan dad's funeral because I was burned out and she made sure every living relative knew SHE had done it and made it seem like I was estranged and did little for our parents. Really disturbing stuff. I felt like years of being there were negated. She sobbed and sobbed at the funeral even though for many years she barely saw our dad and for many years she didn't get along with him. Everything was about her grief and loss. I have distanced myself and there really is no repairing with out sincere apologies and even then I would have major boundaries.

OP, you are the one responsible for your dad. It's fine you could not be there as much as you wanted, but you have no right to project your own guilt onto others. Process the fact there was only so much you could do, take ownership, forgive yourself and thank those people who tried to help profusely.[/quote]

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