Reply to Boyfriend is NOT a planner- do you have this dynamic?

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Reply to "Boyfriend is NOT a planner- do you have this dynamic?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]How non-planny are we talking about? Like he suggested you go away for the weekend - and now won't commit to a place, a hotel, etc? Or he doesn't want a full itinerary for the weekend?
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OP: he says he still wants to time to read the links I sent him a while ago and won't commit to a hotel, and hasn't offered to book it. [b]I explained that since I'm a single mom, my free time away from my kids is really precious to me and I want to make the most of it. That's why I don't like taking chances with not booking anything in advance. [/b]

I'm TOTALLY fine with not having a full itinerary- I don't like that either. It's just that the not taking any initiative or even pitching in to help plan feels like low effort, instead of "spontaneous".[/quote]
So when I first read your original post I figured there could be a real benefit to this (if you like planning) in that you can have everything the way you want it and he'd happily go along. But this follow-up, ugh, just no. It's the combo of saying he wants to have input but then refusing to actually get around to it that's poisonous. Maybe try sending him one more note saying, "here's what I'm planning to book, if something doesn't work for you let me know by tomorrow morning otherwise I'll run with it" and see how he reacts? This is probably a really good litmus test at 8 months for your relationship and whether you want to continue partnering with him or find someone who's more fun and less work.[/quote]

DP. I say take the opposite approach and don't lift a finger. He has been provided with more than enough to plan the weekend away he suggested. If he doesn't follow through then it's a pretty clear sign that you two aren't on the same page, especially in regard to the bolded about why your free time is valuable to you.[/quote]

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