Reply to Moving out after deciding on separation

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]PP here. I was separated for 2 years in the same house. Divorce took that long. COVID hit as divorce as final. I stayed in the house until I found a house to buy. That was another 18 months. So, yes, I was in the house even after the divorce.

You do not have to move to be separated. You can figure out permanent housing and then move. Or sell the house and both move.[/quote]

OP here.  Did you have kids?  I know VA has strict laws regarding being separated under the same roof.  Did you follow all of them for two years?  That's a long time.  How did you handle bills, etc?  Separate accounts?[/quote]

Yes. I have kids. Yes, we followed all of the rules. Yes, we had separate accounts. No, it was not hard. We had been living like that a long time. Our huge was huge and that helped. We were rarely home at the same time. It was not hard. Also, as long as you agree you are separated and have someone sign an affadavit that you are living separate in the same house, no one questions anything. It is all paperwork.

One thing I learned in my divorce is that you can agree to anything you want and no one will question you if that PSA is signed. No one cares about your divorce. People seem to think a judge will care about x, y, z. If there is signed paperwork submitted, there are no questions asked. I wish I had known that to begin with rather than giving myself anxiety about it.[/quote]

OP here.

Your responses are very helpful.  Thank you.  How did you do dinner with the kids?  Since financials were separate how did paying for the house, utilities, etc go?  Appreciate your feedback.  I'm reading all these articles and laws about how in Virginia in-house separation is very strict (no dinners together, cannot use each other's food, no family time together, etc).  Seems very difficult living under the same roof.[/quote]

All you need, really, is an affidavit from someone who will swear to having seen the separate living spaces, etc. It used to be that person had to go to court but now just an affidavit will suffice.

We were separated in the house for about 8 months. It sucked. Lived in separate parts of the home, barely interacted. It was completely traumatizing for the kids and we are both suffering the effects of that four years later as they become older teenagers and the way this messed them up has become more clear. It’s heartbreaking. The only solace is that forcing a relationship for their sake was worse.

It will be expensive. It just is. There’s no sugarcoating it. It will be financially devastating at first. But you can recover.

Good luck. [/quote]

+1 I am the PP you responded to and someone else chimed in. That person is right. You need an affadavit signed. No one is monitoring every single thing. Like I said earlier, no one cares if everything is agreed to in paperwork. [/quote]

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