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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Tell MIL it’s about $$ and that airfare and hotel costs have gone up so much that you have to cut back. It’s just about $$ not about your desire to see her (leave any discussion of your feelings about BIL totally out of this).

Tell her you’d still like to have her come 2-3 times per year (or however much you’re comfortable spending on her airfare) but that when she comes she’ll need to stay w you at your house since hotels are too $$. Don’t mention your BIL coming at all. if she asks if he can come say you could fly both of them out once per year or once every other year or whatever but that will mean fewer trips for MIL in between.

If I were your MIL I’d definitely rather come and stay w you rather than hotel if it meant I got to come more often and I’d also rather just come alone and leave BIL at home if it meant i got to come more often. I’m sure your MIL would ideally love for BILto come too so both her kids are together but she’s got to understand it’s not financially feasible to have him come every time or that having him come will reduce the # of trips she can make.
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OP here - thank you and I agree. I do appreciate these posts. I am showing them to H so he knows he isn’t a bad son/brother for doing this. [/quote]

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