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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Why do people pay for parents to travel?  This is confusing to me. You pay it forward to your own kids, not back to parents or siblings. [/quote]

LOL - you're confused that all families are not like yours?  Okay.

We have to pay for my MIL to visit us, too, and I'm getting tired of it.  OP, you need to be clear with her about what you will and will not pay for.  It's not about what you "can" afford, it's what you will pay that won't lead to resentment.  It's not your responsibility to pay for your MIL, BIL, etc.  MIL may not like it, but that's not your problem.  [/quote]

You are literally taking away from your kids to give to parents- how are the grandparents even ok with this?[/quote]

OP here. MIL lives on SS. If we didn’t fund this, it would mean she would rarely see her grandkids. $150 for tickets a few times a year was within budget for us and worth it considering My present issue is the rising cost of airfare combined with the expectation that we also pay to bring BIL, which means a hotel room as well.[b] It’s about finding and communicating our limits to this arrangement. [/b]

While I am not someone who thinks adult children are their parent’s retirement fund, I think your views on this are a bit extreme. [/quote]

I think you've got it figured out.  You're saying it well here.  If your husband is on board, then you should be able to communicate it to his mom.  For what it is worth, I agree with you that it is entirely worthwhile to keep funding your MIL's trip to see your kids.  You will never know how much impact it has on them but I am sure it is making a difference.

My own parents sacrificed for my dad's mom and sent her money each month to live on because her Social Security wasn't enough.  Sometimes we kids did without because there just wasn't enough money that month.  I don't remember being resentful.  Instead my siblings and I learned that family sometimes sacrifices for family.  It was instilled into us from our early days and it is part of our value system.

You will need to gently but firmly reinforce to your MIL that you want to see her, you value her trips to your house, and you're thrilled that you can invite her. You also want her to know that your BIL is invited, too.  However, you can only pay for your MIL's airfare and hotel.  You would love to see  your BIL, too, but he will need to pay his own way.[/quote]

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