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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "Women who divorce after 40 -- did anyone successfully find new partners?"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP let me give you unconventional advice. This is how men do this (my ex did this to me) when they are a-oles. First of all you should not stay with him if he's draining your finances and psychologically unbearable. The more your stay, the higher share in all assets, your marital portion of pension accumulates. If you divorce him in 15 years, you are on hook for a lifetime alimony (I know for a fact the case when not working exH receives $6K/month from a MD exW, they divorced in late 50s). If your DH is in his 40s the alimony will be small and temporary. Second: make it appear to him like you are going to court for everything: don't agree to child support, to alimony to anything voluntarily. Is your employment easy to replace? Can you switch to a part-time position or leave job temporarily to take care of your 18 months old? It might be wise in terms of child support and alimony to reduce your income: you have a minor child and it will be well received by the judge if you show husband is not helping at whole WHILE also not working. You would have to pay a minimal child support. If the CS is small, even if you do have 50/50 custody, the expenses on all children would be too high for your exH to want them 50% of his time. He will slowly become a "weekend dad" or remarry. The new woman also wouldn't want to bank your kids. As a result, you will be free, will have your kids most of the time and pay little to him. [/quote] His lawyer will have a field day if you do this. Do you think it won't be incredibly obvious that you voluntarily did this on purpose? https://www.divorcenet.com/resources/imputing-income-child-support-virginia.html In Virginia, the ability of a parent to pay child support is based not just on a parent's earnings, but a parent's ability to earn. In other words, the court can base child support on what a parent could earn, not simply what a parent actually earns. For example, [b]if a parent voluntarily takes a job that provides less income than before, the court has the power to base child support on that parent's previous income. [/b]Also, if a parent is voluntarily unemployed or refuses to provide income information, the court can make its own decision on what income that parent could earn and use that amount for child support calculations; this is called "imputing income." [/quote] good luck to him spending 200K on trying to "impute" her an income, while she takes care of an 18 months old. She can easily prove it was warranted for her to spend more time with kids since they are so little. [/quote] She can just go ahead and hire first a very expensive nanny; spend 3-4 months on that nanny and then switch to part time job. There will be a financial track showing taking part time was warranted given increased childcare expenses after the birth of their 3rd child. So husband should work now, and the judge will make him work and support his 3 kids[/quote]
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