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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]How about crossing that bridge when you get there?[/quote]

Because then it becomes that much harder to say NO and there will be more disappointment and tears.  If there really is a halfway decent chance for enough aid, that's one thing.  But if the NPC and/or other data shows it is not realistic, better to head it off at the pass. [/quote]

I disagree. Chances are she won’t get in to Princeton. Or Pomona. But if you don’t let her apply, she will resent that forever. Just tell her you are sorry but you are not sure you can afford it, but she can apply and see what hapoens[/quote]

This seems like terrible advice. Sure, odds are against her, but she might get in. And then, when she’s over the moon, you either have to mortgage your retirement or break her heart.

If what she’s seeking is prestige and affirmation, I would try to steer her toward the prestige schools that have a handful of full-ride merit scholarships. Schools like JHU and Swarthmore. She probably won’t get the scholarship, but if she does she can go. And if she gets in without the scholarship, she gets the affirmation of a competitive acceptance, but knows you can’t afford it — just as you’ve said all along. [/quote]
NP. Agree with your advice about what schools to look at, but don’t think it’s necessary to completely discourage her from thinking about a super high reach or two. OP has identified that her daughter thinks she might have a chance at Pomona and Princeton based on perfect grades and 4s and 5s on APs. OP’s daughter is clearly very bright and will do well wherever she goes, but there is virtually no chance she is getting into these schools unless she has some standout attributes besides high stats. I told my own high stats kid with a perfect GPA, perfect SAT, all 5s on APs that applying to Stanford, Pomona, and ivies was a waste of her time, but she did it anyway and I think is happy she wasn’t left wondering. If OP is very clear that they cannot afford any school that costs more than X$ and the kid still wants to apply to some super reaches, then she should start looking at outside scholarships. But odds are that this is a theoretical problem only. [/quote]

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