Reply to I feel like I have forced myself to a crossroads

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Let me say I found I had to do this as well I one point.  Think it lasted a year, maybe two.  But I had been clearly setting boundaries she would not respect, so she knew what the issues were when I did disconnect.  Happy to say she was able to change.  Hard to remember the bad times now.  But think the break was necessary to facilitate the change  [/quote]

It is good to hear that worked out!! I have posted before but as I reflect, I miss absolutely nothing and have no regrets. I spent so many years doing all the things to make it work and getting abuse in return. When my husband and then child were ill I reached my breaking point. I was not human to my mother. I was a verbal punching bag and a personal servant and that is it. I still think back and wonder how I survived that for so long. Somehow she had a role in mind for me as she aged. She never discussed it with me and got my input. She decided I owed her everything and anything less made me an entitled brat. She did not care when I had surgery, but yet I kept going back and trying to please her. Then the hardships kept coming and I had to decide my family I created, the family that actually loves me back gets the all of me. There were thousands of points of erosion, but it all crumbled to the ground with the final adversities and her utter selfishness. She apologizes for nothing. A sincere apology would make me think that maybe she has an ounce of caring or self-awareness or basic decency. It would not make up for it all, but I truly could forgive her. I would not go back to allowing her to treat me poorly for even a second, but I could love her. I don't think i can love someone who kicked me down verbally at every chance she could when I have been through utter hell these past few years.[/quote]

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