Reply to I feel like I have forced myself to a crossroads

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is my mom too. Basically I have gradually stepped back.

The poster complaining about cut off are taking something complex and making it simple. Cut off as someone once on DCUM said it "death by a 1000 papercuts." You get therapy. You try strategies and you set boundaries. You chose battles and over a period of YEARS the relationship gets more and more toxic rather than less. Cut off is the last straw when you have tried everything and you health and sanity cannot take one more second of this BS. During my brief cutoff I was healthier. I am healthier with the distant relationship. I don't know anyone who cutoff out of the blue and the people i know who did it gradually over time seem happier.[/quote]

This is so similar to me.  I too gradually stepped back, less phones, no phone calls, less visits, now no visits, text only relationship.  The relationship is toxic and for me it ended up causing me to start having panic attacks if I was to see my mother.  I too have been healthier with a distant relationship.  It is death by a 1000 paper cuts.  For me a break was needed to be able to recover.  Staying around the critical judgement was too hard to be around and heal.  Time away can be very healing.  Then sometimes you are able to handle small doses of interaction.[/quote]

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