Reply to I feel like I have forced myself to a crossroads

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Anyone who has cut off a parent and is honest with themselves would be telling a person to weigh the positives and the negatives -- not pretending there are no negatives. The negatives are profound. Most people would be better off with a mother who torments them than being estranged from their mother. Being estranged doesn't really make the mother go away -- she will always be there, like a phantom limb. It's still a massive mind game and takes a huge amount of discipline not to "go there."

Think long and hard before making this choice. PPs asking for advice about this subject rarely give examples that justify estrangement, and yet all those who have cut off their mothers (or others) jump on to recommend it highly. That's not right.[/quote]

Actually I disagree. In may cases it is a natural progression over many years. It can often happen, after a final boundary and the person just cannot respect it. The person is given a choice and choses she would rather not speak to you if it means she must be decent. She will tell others you cut her off, but what you asked for was to be treated like a human.

When I look back, I am in awe of how many years I spent trying to be the bigger person, having empathy, trying not to take it personally, redirecting, setting boundaries, getting therapy, yada yada, Then finally there is peace. There is no phantom limb. A completed diseased and painful limb fell off and while I may not be whole, the body can now heal and there is no concern of the disease and decay spreading and killing me.[/quote]

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