Reply to Poll - should spouses tell each other about job offers?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here, sorry, I was in a meeting. But this is interesting. I'm spouse 2, and my husband just dropped into conversation like super casual that I was offered a job but turned it down. It would have been work from home, and his commute is significant, 45 miles each way. I also work from home so it wouldn't have been ideal for me, but we never even discussed it. [b]I was just sort of stunned that this is considered acceptable for him, to unilaterally make a decision that affects everyone.[/b]

Obligation wasn't the right word. I just feel like this falls squarely into "we're a team, we should operate as a team" category. I wouldn't dream of taking or not taking a job without just checking in and having conversation. It just wouldn't be a question. I also recently interviewed for a job, decided after two rounds that it wasn't for me, and communicated the whole thing to him as I went. So the fact that he was also doing this internally and never brought it up is shady to me. [/quote]

I would expect it to come up in conversation in my marriage, but he gets to pick his job. I wouldn't dream of telling me spouse what job to take or not take, even when money has been tight.[/quote]

I wouldn't either. Not sure where being upset that it wasn't even discussed translated into me thinking I could tell him what job to take.[/quote]

In the part I bolded. It's not a bilateral decision, it's a unilateral decision because it's his job. Lots of things are team decisions, but this isn't one of them. Complaining that it's shouldn't be "acceptable" for him just to decide what job he has reads as very controlling.[/quote]

Fair enough. At the end of the day, I can't "control" what I never even knew about, so don't be too concerned about my controlling anything! 
[/quote]

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