Reply to I just don't like my husband anymore

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, what struck me about your post is how non-specific it was, and nowhere did you discuss any attempts at trying to make the marriage work or address the problems. Its as if you view marriage as something that just happens, and either its good because you love your husband and he loves you, or its not good and if its not good and you're not happy then he must be the wrong guy. But in fact, marriage is a lot of work, love is something you have to consciously create and nurture. And relationships grow and change. People are gently telling you to grow up because it doesn't sound like you've done the hard emotional work of figuring out what it is that you're not happy about and addressing it--nowhere do you discuss any effortts you have put into trying to change the dynamic. Does your husband even know how you feel? Do you two talk about stuff? . You imagine that there is some better soulmate out there who will make you happy--but that's not the answer. Maybe you'd be happier in a different relationship, who knows, but your job right now is to figure out why you're not currently happy and then do something about it. You're not dating, you're married with children so get into therapy, figure out the roots of your vague discontent, communicate with your husband and try your damnedest to make it work. [/quote]

I'm purposely vague. I'm often surprised at the specific details that are posted on this forum.

Yes, DH knows that I would have left this marriage if it were not for the kids. I'm not sure why it is difficult to comprehend that a spouse could be dissatisfied with the marriage. We are merely roommates that share childcare duties. DH does not abuse me (physically or emotionally). He is overall a decent guy. There are no clear dealbreakers. I just don't love or even like him. Many people may think my spouse is great based on his credentials, looks and ability to perform in a social setting. They would probably be shocked at the unhappiness behind closed doors. Like many men, DH was a great athlete and enjoys playing and watching sports. While I found ex bfs who were athletes to be attractive, I find it highly irritating when DH watches or plays sports. This may be due to the time it takes away from assisting with childcare.

In hindsight, I think I married too early. I married the perfect guy on paper. All my mom's friends are envious that I married so well. He loved me so much. I thought I loved him but I don't think I ever did. Now I don't even like him. Another couple we knew looked perfect on paper but recently divorced. We would be in the same boat except we have two young children.

To the poster who accused me of already cheating, I am not cheating. I occasionally find men attractive and wonder if I would be better off divorced. I don't doubt someone out there would make me happier. I think about divorce constantly. Then I look at my children and don't want to break up our family. [/quote]

You have serious, serious issues. I understand being vague but there is simply no logical connection between any of the sentences you are posting. Are you medicated right now? That or there is some big huge issue at the center of this which you refuse to discuss so everything else sounds petty. If not, believe me, divorce will not solve this. It's all you.[/quote]

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