Reply to Feel like the choice is binary re: whether to work or not after baby is born

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You’ll never get those years with your babies back.[/quote]

I hate this. Nobody gets any years back. That's how time works. You still have a baby if they go to daycare.[/quote]

DP and I disagree. [b]There are very few career opportunities that you couldn't replace or re-acquire after two years [/b]out of the workforce. But you can't replace the experience of being home with a baby. The experience of spending all your time with your baby is different than the experience of taking your child to childcare and then going to work. It just is. That doesn't mean it's wrong.

I have a better job now than I did before I quit to stay home with my baby. My career has taken zero hits and in some ways, being willing to walk away so I could do something important to me has helped me learn to expect more and to understand my own value, which has benefitted me professionally.[/quote]

This is demonstrably untrue. Women with two year gaps in their resumes do not wind up in the same position as their peers who don’t and it’s been well studied. I think OP should take as much time as she wants and reasonably can but she should do so with awareness of the reality of her profession.

I went back at five months but didn’t return full-time until about 18M. Staying in the game got me promoted because my network was still very current and my work product was a known quantity. OP if you have part time choices can you explore them?[/quote]

Provide the studies that say this, and they need to be within the last 10-15 years. A 5+ year gap? Yes, that will really hurt you. Two years? Not a big deal, especially if your career is already established.

It really is not all or nothing, and people need to stop thinking if it this way. People on DCUM always act like stepping out if the workforce with a baby means you’re never getting back on track. Yet most mothers I know took off 1-2 years and all came back, many into positions they liked more. And like OP, they were all older mom (33 I think was the youngest) and had established careers and good credentials.[/quote]

This one is five years old. A woman with an 18M gap on her resume for family leave is less likely to get an interview than a male or female candidate who has been *unemployed* for 18M.

https://hbr.org/2018/02/stay-at-home-moms-are-half-as-likely-to-get-a-job-interview-as-moms-who-got-laid-off[/quote]

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