Reply to How important are college costs to you, even if you can afford any college?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]For us, we have the money, so I don’t care what it costs. (Since that what you asked). I want my child to go where they are comfortable. That’s it.

[b]I would argue that if you have to sell assets then you can’t “afford” any college.[/b] That’s having to choose between your assets and college. I don’t think it’s worth 50,000 more a year, but I will pay it because I have it. You’re in a different situation.[/quote]

OP here. I agree, but it's what FAFSA and colleges calculate: most assets are not protected, and therefore a lot of portfolios, real estate, etc, count towards your ability to pay. I'm not disagreeing with that rule, BTW. After all, the money is there, even though for us it's capital investment that we'd as soon not touch. But our situation makes me seriously reconsider all these really lovely, nurturing, smaller schools with such a hefty price tag.

Also, can you treat your children differently? One of our two children has some learning disabilities and might benefit from hand-holding at a SLAC. Can we justify spending huge sums for this one, and send the other to our state uni? This falls into the larger question of distribution of effort/finances for each kid, which we've already had to face, and will continue to face as we get into inheritance questions. Do we do it according to need, perceived future needs? What's fair?

Anyway. I'm struggling with guiding this oldest kid to colleges I feel comfortable with.
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Of course you can treat the kids differently.  However, does the 2nd kid want to attend the State Uni?  Would it be a good fit for them?  If not a good fit, then I personally would try to pay for what is a good fit.

My one kid attended a school that was $40K tuition when they started and kid got $18k/year merit.  Done in 4 years and not likely to head back to school anytime soon.

Other kid will be full pay $80K/year at T30 school.  We "allowed" them to turn down a T40 school also 80K/year but they had $42K merit/year.  Most parents would not allow that, and if all things were equal I'd say go to the cheaper school, but our kid was really really not feeling the 2nd school.  First school is where they just felt at home and really liked from the first time they set foot on it's campus (and each subsequent time). So we let them pick the more expensive school (but the $$$$ is in 529 and easily accessible)
This kid will also likely go to grad school at some point, which we will help fund.

So 2nd kid will get probably $250K more for education than the first.  However, first kid required tons of specialized tutors and educational help in ES/MS/early HS (all needed to make them a successful adult and it worked) So I've paid $15-20K/year for that and didn't for 2nd kid.

Heck, I needed expensive braces growing up, my siblings didn't.  Life is never "fair" for kids.  Most deal with it just fine.

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