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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Don’t “call her out” on anything.  It will not be helpful and will further alienate you.  Love her, support her, send money to her if you want.  Have all your messages to her be positive and not needy of seeded in obligation (you don’t call me, you forgot grandma, etc.). Let her know you love her and are there for her. Offer to come visit.  Keep it all very loving and positive.  No guilt tripping.  Hopefully she comes around eventually, but that likely won’t happen while living with mother.  Her instinct now is to please her mother, since she is living with her.  [/quote]

Mom of a teenager here...is this supposed to be sarcastic? This is ridiculous. He will only create an entitled young woman[/quote]

Entitled to what? She doesn’t owe him anything...really. He doesn’t need to keep sending money if he doesn’t want to and isn’t legally obligated.  But he can if he wants to.  He shouldn’t expect anything in return though.  That is how good parents operate.  She doesn’t owe him a specific relationship on his terms.  Be nice, be kind, be loving, and see what comes of it.[/quote]

OP here that is exactly what I did but for 18 years it's always been on their terms. I have tried and tried. Am I not entitled to be treated like a father or do I just accept I'm no more than an ATM? 
[/quote]

Why would she treat you like a father when you haven't been there as a father? Did you raise her? Did you feed her? Did you bathe her or comfort her when she was sick or upset? [/quote]

+1  You can say that you had no choice but it's not true.  You could have fought for custody.  You took the path of least resistance, which was functioning as an international ATM, and now that's what you are.  [/quote]

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