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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You are expecting an 18 yr old that lives and is dependent on her mother to now somehow function independently and think independently.  It isn’t going to happen- yet.  Be “the good guy” to her.  When she is old enough and truly independent from her mother, she may seek out a relationship with you.  [/quote]

Agreed. My teens are good kids, but they remember my birthday largely because my spouse (their other parent) reminds them of the fact and helps organize the celebration. Same for mothers' day/fathers' day.

If you want to get to know your young adult child better, spend time with them. Call them. Write them. Tell them about your life. Invite them to spend time with you, and understand if they're too busy or uninterested because they've got other stuff going on in their life.

When I was 18, I had over 6000 days of being with my parents to build up a solid relationship, and I was still an immature jerk to them at times. I'm guessing you need more quality time together (in person or virtually) to develop a relationship before you start chiding her for not being attentive enough.[/quote]

OP here I did exactly this multiple times a week. When she was younger mom should say she doesn't want to Skype me. I will call and call even bought an I pad to make it easy.
As she got older I was only allowed to call tbe house phone. The schedule was set by mom ( Sunday mornings only) 
I flew 3 or 4 times a year. Even then dates were given last minute and always on their schedule which I respected. I tried to plan activities like theme parks etc. Everytime I've gone she will spend a few hours with me then is busy with friends. She will only want to go shopping etc
I eventually started to communicate with her on what's app. She wouldn't answer calls so we stuck to typing. I message multiple times. Messages are read as they turn blue but she will not reply for days. In order to keep the peace I tried to just go along with the demands but it's enough. The mom didn't want me to have custody so I lost all rights what can I do? I fought it. When I asked for her to spend summers here she refused as she wouldn't get child support for the overnights my daughter was with me.
I try and speak about my day, ask her about hers. I get one word replies. 
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