Reply to Kid birthday plans issue

Forum Index » Parenting -- Special Concerns

Reply to "Kid birthday plans issue"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, I really don’t understand the prior posts. I don’t see it as a big deal for your BF and kids to be there, if it’s all as you say. That said, I probably would just have dinner with your child on his bday, as you are entitled to. It just wouldn’t be worth the drama to include BF and his kids; just do that another time despite the convenience of them being in town that weekend. I’m not divorced, but I think that’s how I’d handle it.[/quote]

I mean I hear what you’re saying. But I just don’t get why I should let my ex-husband dictate this. Especially when I know it would truly be fun. [/quote]

Because it isn't fair [i]to your son[/i] to make his birthday a source of tension and uncomfortableness.  You don't have to let your ex-husband dictate it, but it seems like you want your son to spend time with your BF's kids just to make the point, and you're convincing yourself that your son wants this.  But wouldn't he have an even better time with his [i]actual friends that he sees regularly[/i]?  You're not doing this for your son.  If you weren't dating this guy, you wouldn't be inviting these kids.  You want this for you.  Stop using events in your son's life to pursue your agenda.

You need to open your eyes to the non-happening of the relationship between these kids.  Your sons are teenagers.  They will soon be gone off to college and they will care even less about your BF and his children than they do now.  Your BF chose to move away, the relationship is fading, and if you try to force them to spend their limited time at home with these people they will likely resent you.  You don't have a lot of birthdays left with your son at home!  Why are you choosing to make it difficult?  Yes, your ex is wrong, but if you take advantage of a birthday to get this, your child will resent you.

This kind of thing is why it sucks to be ACOD.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics