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Eldercare
Reply to "Rant: why some siblings won't help with great elderly parents"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Maybe you were the favorite and their childhood was different than yours. Maybe they are just selfish people. [/quote] This. OP sometimes childhood experiences are vastly different between siblings, unbeknownst to each other. Or they could just be clueless/selfish/etc. You may not know fully. I agree with suggesting tasks or days. Something that sets a routine going. [/quote] But why are we assuming the worst? Everyone always assumes each childhood was vastly different but, why not take op's word. I mean I think she would know the situation better than strangers.[/quote] Often the Golden Child buys into family myths because the alternative is to have to accept that you got favored treatment and were so self-countered that you didn't protect your siblings. Also, it is rare to have so many people in a family who chose to remain single and childless. It makes one wonder if what they saw growing up was just not for them. Not assuming the worst, but simply suggesting OP's story may be just that, her story and her interpretation. We don't know their sides and no good judge hears one person's point of view and decides that is the truth.[/quote] I am in a family with a mild version of the Golden Child dynamic. How can you expect a child to protect other children? I don’t think it makes my brother (the GC) self centered that he couldn’t solve a problem as a child that adults struggle with.[/quote] Sorry I wasn't clear. The dynamic continues into adulthood. I was the scapegoat and my sister fed into it, but she was a kid. She did something to enrage our narc mom as a teen. Once I was an adult and was the GC, anytime my mom badmouthed my sister I defended her, even though my sister never did that for me. I was an adult and had more perspective by then. My mom wanted to do something truly cruel to my sister and I stopped it. Unfortunately for me I decided to live closeby and help mom caring for dad which make me scapegoat again. My sister has relished the role. She did nothing and got to be the GC guilt free. She does not defend me. I have backed away after a decade of helping. Dad passed away and mom got worse with lashing out. As a child I didn't expect anything, as an adult I expect some integrity. She has no intention of doing much so it will be interesting how it plays out.[/quote]
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