Reply to When to tell kids the truth about their father’s adultery as reason for divorce

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don’t have any experience with this, but I don’t see why women need to protect their shitty husbands’ reputations, even for the sake of the kids. There are age-appropriate and unemotional ways to tell them. [/quote]

Agree. Lying, covering up, showing weak boundaries...I don't find that useful to do to children in these situations.  I've had friends use the Chumplady method for younger children.  "When two people get married, they make a promise to only be married to each other and not have other boy/girlfriends.  Mommy/daddy chose to have a boy/girlfriend, and I am not ok with that."

[/quote]

Adultery /infidelity is abuse. It’s having an open marriage on one side of the marriage, without consent. Man or woman, husband or wife, it’s wrong. The cheater should not be protected. Gory and explicit details are not necessary. Lying to children about this very important aspect of their lives just pushes the trauma and pain and hurt further down the road.

It’s not “grown people issues.” It’s the children’s lives and family too, and their family is the most important thing in the world to children. Liars, deceivers, betrayers, liars of omission: congrats for hurting your kids and creating another layer of trauma on your innocent kids. Can’t even own up to what you’ve done, gotta continue to hide your crap. The reason you hide your crap is because you know it’s wrong, and don’t want to admit it under the guise of “it will hurt the CHILDREN!!!” Why not just not hurt your kids in the first place by responsibly getting divorced before you start shacking up? [/quote]

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