Reply to Would you marry a man who has a bad relationship with his mother?

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[quote=Anonymous]My last boyfriend before DH had serious "mom issues".  He had so much anger towards her.  The strange part was that she wasn't that bad -- type A, uptight, strict, stubborn - yes.  She was also extemely caring and always there for her children.  He was angry that he didn't feel she was affectionate or nurturing enough towards him as a child, he was angry that he saw his dad as succombing to her and letting her "get away with it".  After about 1.5 years of a great relationship with then-boyfriend, he began projecting his mom issues on me big time.  He began to see me as her, or at least was paralyzed with fear that we'd turn into his father and mother.  It was really out of whack, but there was just so much unresolved anger there.  I went through hell and back trying to shake him out of it, to no avail. Eventually I had to accept he had issues that would prohibit him from being the best husband or father.

While his brothers may not have been extremely close to their mom, they didn't seem to have the same anger, so I think it's probably case by case.  They seemed to have healthy relationships with their wives, at least from the outside.

Maybe more than looking for whether the person in question has a "bad" relationship with his mom - look to see if he holds a lot of unresolved anger towards her.  Is he still really bothered by it, or does he seem to be able to make peace?

In my experience, if there's a lot of anger present - be very careful.[/quote]

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