Reply to Found alcohol- about to bring it up to my DH

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'd say nothing and incognito mark how much is left now. Every day I'd check to see if any is missing. When it gets empty say hey I saw it took you 2 days to finish off that vodka, what gives? Do you need help?  Or it took you 6 months to finish off that vodka why didn't you just tell me you wanted some instead of hiding it?[/quote]

Even though I'm supposed to leave him and the kids home for the first time for 4 days next weekend?[/quote]

Are you very controlling in other aspects of your life? Or just this? Because it’s enough to drive a grown man to drink. [/quote]

Isn't this a genuine concern? It seems like my husband has been secretly binge drinking over the last week and I'm supposed to leave him for 4 days to be the primary parents- tending to night wake ups, driving everywhere, etc.[/quote]

It seems to me like you're looking for a reason to cancel your trip.

If you have noticed any alarming behavior in the last week I doubt your kids are in danger.

I understand your fears given your background but I'd say 90% of parents did airhead thing while drinking in their 20s and as mid 30s adults are caring for their kids responsibly.

I'd also say a good percentage of parents have a drink while being in charge of the kids and don't become impaired or harm the kids.

Yes he should have told you about the alcohol and had the conversation about not wanting to ban harder alcohol anymore, but given how emotional you are over the topic I can see why he didn't.
Two things need to happen

1. Just tell him what you found and ask him about it. Listen to what he says. No arguing. Or bringing up past agreement. Just listen.  After you get his answers you can go from there with what to do.
2.  Therapy for you you are trying to make up for your dad's abuse and your out of control childhood by trying to control everything now.[/quote]

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