Reply to Would you take young kids to an open casket funeral?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]No.  I saw my grandmother in an open casket and this is the vision that comes to mind when I think of her.[/quote]

Agree.  Open caskets are barbaric.[/quote]

Eff you with your judgment.  For many of us, open caskets are an important part of letting go of the corporeal part of our loved one, and in many cultures sitting with the remains of a loved one before burial is the ultimate sign of respect.  I have sat overnight for a traditional Irish wake, with loved ones telling stories, laughing, crying, and remembering with fondness the person who inhabited the body sitting in the coffin next to us, the night before the burial.

My brother died violently via a gunshot wound to his temple from a .22 rifle.  When people heard that he died by suicide via gunshot to the head, they had all kinds of horrific images in their minds.   In truth, there was only a very small entry wound…sadly, enough to kill him.  But it did not destroy his beautiful face or blow his skull to bits.  The undertaker said he thought the body could be okay for an open casket but he would leave it up to our immediate family to see him first and then decide what we thought.  In our culture, open caskets are the norm so when there can’t be an open casket (like in the case of a cousin who was killed by a drunk driver in a horrific accident) it can be very upsetting and traumatic to people who fill in the blanks with their own imaginations.

I can’t tell you how many loved ones expressed what a comfort it was that we were able to have an open casket for my brother.  Whatever horrible images they had had in their minds were replaced by the image of his remains at rest.  It was still absolutely heartbreaking and traumatic, but maybe just a bit less horrific.  The ritual of praying over his remains was the same as for every other funeral, and that too was a small but significant comfort.

If that’s not your cup of tea, so be it.  But I’m not barbaric.  Respecting and viewing the earthly remains of loved ones is an important part of appreciating life for many of us.[/quote]

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