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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here, and I'm disappointed this deteriorated so quickly. Can we set aside the gender identity issue for now?

New question: do you have children (assuming you do since you're on this site)? Have you discussed your bi identity with them? How "out" are you among friends?

Me: yes I have kids (young tweens) and no, I haven't talked with them about it yet. I do plan to, though I wonder how DH will feel about it. He's generally very open, but I know it will make him feel weird. Deep down (or not so much), I think he likes to pretend my previous life as a lesbian is a thing of the distant past). Yes, I am out to friends, but I literally know NO ONE else who is out and bi. Our community (NW DC) is very very cis and hetero, with a handful of queer families. [/quote]
May I ask something? I hope it doesn’t come out wrong. Assuming you’re in a monogamous relationship, why would you come out as bi to family and couple friends? Unless you were speaking of a specific prior relationship, which would be different. I totally understand wanting to be seen and known for your whole self, but couldn’t you keep that between yourself and your women friends?[/quote]

NP. Why wouldn’t you? I’ve always been attracted to women but didn’t identify as bi until after I was already married to a man. I don’t go around introducing myself as “Hi I’m Jane and I’m bi!” but it’s also not something that I think I should hide or avoid talking about? And it’s not like it’s a topic that never comes up in conversation… usually it’s more in a context of “did you like zendaya’s met gala outfit?” “yes she looked great i have such a crush on her!” type talk rather than some weird “do you only like sex with men?” “actually i think sex with women sounds really exciting!” type thing. [/quote]

Different pp here.  You definitely shouldn't have to hide who you are or how you feel.  There's no reason to repress yourself and be closeted.

I'm so tired of the biphobia.  If you think bi women are just going through a phase or doing it for attention then you're biphobic.  If you think that bi men don't exist and are all just gay then you're biphobic.  If you think all bi people are in open/poly relationships then you're biphobic.  If you think all bi people are cheaters then you're biphobic.

The vast majority of bisexual people are in committed relationships and do not cheat.  Many are in heterosexual relationships because they wanted kids and because society makes it easier to have that sort of marriage.  It's also a spectrum, it's not like all bi people are attracted 50/50 to both men and women.  It could be 70/30 or 30/70 the other way which makes it much more likely to be in a relationship with one or the other gender.  Some are pansexual and are attracted to people of any gender, including nonbinary people.

I think finding a friend group would be lovely but it's not especially common in bisexual women because it's not a group that necessarily needs a lot of support, especially if in a straight relationship.  [/quote]

+1 to all of this. [/quote]

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