Reply to Worth breaking up over a birthday?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If something is really important to you, you shouldn't pretend like it isn't. Since you are dating and you have the past experiences with your ex and your BF knows that, it would be weird if he didn't do something. But you have to not catastrophize. [/quote]

This.  You get to decide what's important to you in a relationship, OP.

That said, wait and see if he does something, either before your trip or after you return.  If nothing, you might consider ONE TIME explicitly telling him, that was really important to me, so wtf?

You could also just end it, again, if he does nothing.  Having to spell everything out for people can get really old, especially if you've already been reasonably clear.  Some people require more spoon-feeding than others, and it's fine to decide you don't want to do that for the rest of your life.[/quote]

OP: Thank you, you pretty much nailed it. He is a wonderful guy. [b]I just don't want to have to tell someone/remind someone to do something (anything!) nice on a birthday for the rest of my life, already knowing and feeling what that is like given my experience.[/b] But you're right, I will wait to see if there is anything either before or after.[/quote]

You’re welcome - I’m glad I got it. :) The bolded is a *completely* reasonable thing to want in a partner.  I remember a colleague once whose DH always sent flowers to work for her birthday, their anniversary, Valentine’s.  She didn’t have to tell him, that’s how he expressed himself.  But that was important to her, and she told me that if her partner didn’t do those kinds of things, she’d feel hurt.  People prioritize different things, and it’s healthy to want a partner who has similar priorities, and with whom you don’t constantly need to explain yourself.

Happy early birthday, OP!  I hope he comes through.[/quote]

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