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[quote=Anonymous]NP here. I hear you OP, and, similarly, because I work in a people relations field, I actually have tons of social activities going on--but many of them are work-related. I thrive on that, and enjoy it, but people you have drinks with aren't the ones you call at 9 p.m. because you are in a life slump, just to talk.

I find in DC we keep everything very surface-y. So I would actually disagree with those who say--join more groups, volunteer more. That's a great way to meet others, but not to truly know them. The way to true friendship is to be vulnerable with people.  I have a friend who has worked in two of the same workplaces as me, but while we know the same people, but she is the one who is invited to weddings, vacations with other people 1-1, etc. I realized from that contrast that (1) life stage does make a difference, her kids are grown so she can invest more time getting to know people but (2) most critically, she had some very tough challenges in her life in the last few years and has had to lean on others for help. Vulnerability is part of what creates close bonds. So if you have a need or have a friend who you aren't that close to but wish you had a stronger relationship, try taking that extra step. Be the person who is willing to help out, outside work or the limited social context. Or open up about yourself. You might be surprised. Good luck, OP, and to everyone else out there![/quote]

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