Reply to Unequal inheritance

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "Unequal inheritance "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I will never understanding rewarding people for being lazy like you’re doing them a favor. People like OP’s brother will blow through that money, and when he’s left with nothing, he won’t even have OP to turn to because mom will have blown up that bridge.

There are times when unequal inheritances can make sense. Disabilities that require money for assistance, for example. But just because kids chose different life paths and one is “more successful”? What if OP has a debilitating car accident and can no longer work? What if OP ends up divorced and scraping by? What if the brother hits the lottery? No one knows what the future will bring. Treat your kids equally if you want them to have any relationship at all.[/quote]

Again, this poster is ignoring the fact that the brother lives with and [b]presumably[/b] takes care of many things for the money and will only do more as she ages.  That's worth something.  He may be professionally "lazy," but why should the mother care about that?  What's important is what he's doing for the mother -- and it's HER money.  She very well may see the brother as making sacrifices for her that the OP isn't doing, and as time goes on and she ages, trust me -- he will be doing a lot for her on a daily basis, simply because he lives with her, and OP won't be doing those things.  In fact, OP will (or should be) happier knowing that her mother isn't alone while OP continues to live her wildly successful life free of the shackles of her mother's care.  [/quote]

The bold is the operative word here. And YOU are the one presuming that. Some of us have watched elderly parents with kids living with them for free and yet doing nothing, leaving the “successful” kids with families and jobs to also pick up the slack. It’s just as much projecting for me to assume that as it is for you to assume brother is managing the house, cooking and cleaning for mom 24/7. If, IF, the brother steps up and provides care and support for mom, then sure, I can see him deserving more. But for now it appears that in exchange for companionship he already gets free room and board for him AND his two children. [/quote]

Some of us don't presume the worst about our siblings, and some of us aren't greedy children lusting after our parents' money.[/quote]

I’m not talking about my siblings, but elderly people I’ve known whose lazy live-in kids do nothing while their other kids are constantly showing up with food and to do home repairs and clean. And the elderly parent is complaining about the child who lives for free and won’t help. Or should we assume they’re lying too so you can sit on your high horse? And I already agreed parents can do whatever they want with their money, but they should know their ruining their kids’ relationships with each other by showing such favoritism. [/quote]

The siblings who don't live with the parent day-to-day simply aren't in a position to see what actually happens day to day and don't and can't know whether the live-in sibling does "nothing."  Typically the other siblings simply feel guilty because they know that they're not doing as much as the live-in sibling, and often they have leftover childhood baggage when it comes to that sibling and their perceptions are distorted by that.

And how many "elderly people" have you really, actually "known whose lazy live-in kids do nothing while their other kids are constantly showing up with food?"   You make it sound like an epidemic.  What world do you live in?  I literally know no "elderly people" living in that situation.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics