Reply to I love my family of origin (parents, brother) but their conservative views make it hard

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "I love my family of origin (parents, brother) but their conservative views make it hard "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Time to distance if people can't talk about neutral things, OP, either you or someone else.[/quote]

So it's not about being neutral in conversation. We've perfected that art in the last 5 years for sure. It's more about handling my deep resentment.[/quote]

I think it’s a shame that people get so emotionally tied up and resentful, they let it interfere with relationships and keep them from listening to each other. Just because you think you’re a good person who believes a certain way doesn’t mean that somebody who disagrees with you is bad. They may be just as well meaning as you, and just as logical as you, but be starting from a different set of assumptions.

Pro-lifers don’t hate women any more than pro-choice people hate babies. The two sides may disagree on when the baby becomes a baby, but both sides are sincerely following their consciences and fighting to help others.

They may be wrong on this issue, and most other issues you disagree on.  Parties aren’t monoliths, however (think of how hard it was for the Democrats to agree to support Biden’s initiatives). If you could talk to your relatives with mutual respect, without letting emotions turn both sides defensive, you might find that there are some areas where they disagree with their party and agree with you (or vice versa).

Finally, in talking with people who have opposing views, it helps to remember that nobody is correct 100% of the time. While I am utterly convinced my stance on any given issue is correct (otherwise it wouldn’t be my position), and maybe that particular position may objectively be “correct”, at some point, not being divinely omniscient, views that I am convinced are right will be utterly wrong. Moreover, life is messy and nuanced. Rarely is there one right answer and one wrong answer. There may be only a bunch of wrong answers and the best you can do is try to agree on one that will do the least damage. More commonly, each option will have done pros and some cons and it cones down to judgement calls that well-meaning people may sincerely disagree on.  If you can both listen to the other side and acknowledge the barest possibility that your position on the topic under discussion could be flawed, there is the chance that you might learn something to adapt your position or give them something to consider about their viewpoint. At the very least, you can understand their position better, and as long as you can mutually respect the other side’s right to be wrong (knowing that at some point, they’ll be right and you’ll be wrong), there doesn’t need to be resentment. 
[/quote]

Posts like yours bother me the most nowadays. I’m not going to both sides it when human rights are at stake. When the first president in American history tried to overthrow an election.

Your idea about coming together to talk if both parties agreed climate change was an issue, but we differed on how to approach it. But, no I’m not going to have a rational conversation with someone who denies there is a problem. Insert most issues here.

Re family, we have asked our brother over and over again to stop with the politics. He continually berates us as stupid for listening to mainstream news, will send mean texts to our mom (she shared good news and he sent a meme with trump thumbs up), told everyone he thought I was endangering my kid for sending him to college, and barrages us with racist, hateful posts. So, now I’m not talking to him. Just about everyone I know in DC has a divided family with some contention. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics