Reply to Caring for Dying Parent - How Much is Too Much?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]24 hour, round-the-clock in home care is $22,500 a month at $32/hr.  A nursing home is about $10k.  Give him those choices.  On his dime.  There will probably be falls and cuts and scrapes and eating and toileting issues as he weakens. You will still feel plenty guilty when somebody else has eyes on these things.  The in-home care will make lists for you about what to buy for food and physical care and that will be a lot of stuff for you to do, still.  My Dad went on hospice (less than six months to live) over nine months ago and he is miserable.  He moved to be near us and we just recently moved him into a nursing home.  We all have Covid and feel terrible about him being isolated but at least he is clean and fed and warm and dry.  Your child needs you more.  Your business is crucial and your Dad will not be grateful or understanding as his discomfort increases. I truly feel your regret will be bigger if you let your own life fall apart.  He will be okay in a nursing home and that will free the teenagers up a bit to enjoy their own lives without feeling guilty, which they should not.  [/quote]

Oh wow, OP here, and it's not really this choice that we are looking at.  He has enough money, we have enough money, but you can't buy someone trustworthy to advocate for you in the hospital and help you make decisions.  He won't have anyone in the house with him, so home care is out.  It's mostly about driving him to doctor's appts and to the hospital, and sitting there with him.  The feeling is that taxis and medical transports and so on are no good and it should be a relative.  It's not even about money, except for me, because leaving will mean shutting down my business and ruining my hard-earned reputation.  [/quote]

Oh okay but hospice usually means no more medical appointments.  Just relax, get weaker and try to stay comfortable.   [/quote]

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