Reply to “If they choose to have children…”

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is like the kind of thing that is insane to be arguing about now. If you know she feels that way, then just don't say that again. You can continue to have a healthy respect for your kids individual choices, she can continue to believe great grandchildren are going to be a thing, and you can all rest relatively assured that your kids will do what they will do with your support and she is unlikely to live long enough to know for sure either way.

I just don't understand why people have these arguments about potential futures that are literal decades away. [/quote]

Where does it say that OP "had an argument" about this. OP made a comment, her mother had a reaction, OP was surprised by that reaction and posted here to gain perspective. [b]OP's mom getting upset still does not an "argument" make, as OP is not responsible for her mother's reactions or feelings.[/b][/quote]

What is it about the word argument that is so triggering to you pp? I didn't mean it like they had a huge incident or something. Just that conflict, minor admittedly, has emerged from an interaction. But it is unnecessary conflict.

The bolded, meh, OP is not responsible for her mother's reactions and feelings, ok, but if she loves and cares about her mom she might CARE about her reactions and feelings. And I think she clearly does because she is posting here. Grandma got worked up about this, which is understandable because in my experience when the older generation starts confronting their mortality, they are comforted by assurances that their legacy will live on. Of course, our legacies rarely live on past a generation or two at best. But nevertheless, people begin to be attached to this. That is something OP's kids should not consider when making their own life choices (decades from now) but OP's moms feelings are not stupid or invalid. She is just coming from a vastly different life experience and point in life.

I maintain, this is just something I'd never bring up again OP. There is nothing you can control about the facts (whether your children will or will not have children, whether your mom will or will not be ok with that) and it is a far off hypothetical that is pointless speculating about when kids are kids. When nothing can be gained and conflict can emerge, it seems prudent to simply shove this topic into the back of the closet underneath a large pile of games and puzzles where no one will see it for years.

Think of it like anything else, if Grandma had said 'well if the kids never get cancer they will have a happy life' and OP is like 'wtf they aren't going to get cancer?!' I mean they could! Who knows? Anything could happen. Silly to get all worked up about it. [/quote]

It is not “conflict” for people to have different opinions or reactions to something. That’s just how life is sometimes. [/quote]

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