Reply to Helping DS, 8, make peace with not being one of the popular boys.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]And a last piece of advice OP--are you sure your kid cares as much as you think he does? You say it hurts you to see it. He probably picks up on your feelings about it. You may want to examine who actually cares more. I don't say this as a criticism. There are definitely times at which I probably cared more about that stuff than my kids did. [/quote]

I had this thought as well...OP you say he "wants desperately" and "longs to be part of" but has he actually articulated this to you or are you projecting this longing on to him? Or maybe he said once "I wish I could be with them" and it's spiraled in your mind? None of these things are bad (for lack of a better word) but it is useful to understand whether this issue is driven by your son or your projections because then you can address it appropriately.[/quote]

OP here.  No, it’s actually said many times that he wishes he could be like those boys and friends with those boys.  [/quote]

OK, then I agree with 13:51's comments on page two...while you can provide support, he needs to work through this himself.[/quote]

DP: Lots of kids don't have a naturally strong EQ, so the support they need is learning how to 'join play,' and how to have a give and take conversation about topics of general interest, and how to read social cues. To make friends you have to be a friend, and for some kids what that actually means and looks like is super unclear. This comes naturally to the kids who emerge early as "popular," but has to be taught to many other kids.[/quote]

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