Reply to My husband yells at me or the kids at least once a day

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, thank you for above post with additional information. I wouldn't focus too much on whether or not you should have married, had a child, or had a second child. You need to focus on now and moving forward.

You definitely need individual therapy. Couple therapy will not be useful to you now. The goal of this therapy should be figuring out how to protect yourself and your children from this ongoing abuse. Therapy can give you some very practical strategies about this in the immediate, even if you are still living with your husband. It can also help get you in the right mindset for what I suspect you ultimately need, which is a divorce.

You seem very fixated on the idea that you "can't" divorce, and I think really hashing this out with a therapist will be helpful. Maybe you just need  to create a window of time... maybe when you finish nursing your baby, maybe once school starts, maybe there is an known job shift coming in the next year... whatever. The point is that you can pragmatically determine your exit strategy.

As others have said, you need to do this not only for you, but also your kids. If you don't, you are setting up your kids for one or the other as an adult
1. A person who screams, yells, and is abusive, or
2. A person who is a victim of someone who screams, yells, and is abusive.

I think you think that posters here telling you to divorce don't understand how hard that will be. I think clearly people DO understand. We also think that--hard as it is--it's still what is needed.
So, get yourself some individual therapy as a first step on this path. Do it for your children.[/quote]

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