Reply to My husband yells at me or the kids at least once a day

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

How on earth did someone so CLEARLY type A/perfectionist/high strung end up with someone with severe ADHD, PTSD, depression & anxiety???

This sounds like a match made in absolute HELL.

Being type A is all about an incredibly intense need to control -- and you,  being someone with special needs & mental health challenges, will ALWAYS be someone that he can never fully control, because you yourself don't have complete control and that's always going to be a huge problem for him (and it will only get worse over time).

This tells me that he's always treated you this way, right from the giset date on.  His is such an intense need for control, that he could have never hid it,  so you've known this about him since day 1.

Get out now -- you two should have never, ever gotten married in the first place.

[/quote]

OP here. I think you are making a lot of assumptions here and not being very kind to say we never should have Been married based on one post and not a ton of information. We have been in a relationship for 17 years and he has changed a lot in that time. As have I. In early years of our relationship he was a very laid back guy. Over the years he has gotten more controlling and anal about things. Parenthood was when he really changed - his childhood was quite difficult and that is when the controlling aspect came out. The stress of life for us has been extreme and included a chronically sick child, lots of sleep deprivation with the sick child, and another child with behavioral challenges. Also WFH for 2 years, moving, and pandemic.

In my case, I was not diagnosed with ADHD until a few years ago. I developed coping skills in childhood to overcome the challenges and succeed academically and professionally, like many women. I had gotten to a good place professionally and personally when we had kids but the addition of children to our relationship has been really hard for me to balance with so many competing needs and priorities on top of work and running a household and the aforementioned issues with our kids.  I also did not get diagnosed with PTSD until 5 years ago because inexperienced a traumatic event 5 years ago. I was diagnosed with depression in my teens when my parent had a very messy divorce and was on meds for a few years and then got off them. I do not have severe mental illness so why are you making that assumption based on something I did not say?

Anyway, I’m trying to say there is a lot of factors that have gotten us to this place, and it certainly did not start out that way. I never would have married a husband who routinely yelled at me. [/quote]

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